Who am I as a communicator?

In our application assignment for the week, we were asked to evaluate ourselves as communicators, and then have others evaluate us using the same scales.  I chose a coworker and my fiancé to conduct the evaluations on me.  I was pleasantly surprised to see that both other test takers revealed the same results as I did, revealing me as a good communicator in all areas.

What is the one thing that surprised you the most? Why?

I was most surprised at my listening style.  This is an area that I see as a weakness in myself, as I have a tendency to become distracted and have recently been told by someone that I have a tendency to interrupt.  However, the results of the test revealed me as a people oriented listener, describing me as empathetic and trusting of others and their feelings.

What other insights about communication did you gain this week? Choose at least two to share with others through your blog and consider how each might inform your professional work and personal life.

The first insight that I gained is that I am too trusting of others.  This is not something that I knew to be true about myself, but after discussing with the other evaluators of my communication skills, they helped me to understand this revelation.  I often believe in the good and honesty in others, rather or not they are deserving.  While some see this as a good quality, it can be dangerous in my personal and professional relationships, and I should gather more information about a person before giving them my trust.

Another insight was the pride I felt in reading through all of the results of these surveys.  I feel that they revealed me as an effective and well rounded communicator.  This is a very important skill for a teacher, as there are several people who I communicate with constantly including my students, families, coworkers, administrators, and community members.  It is also important in forming and maintaining relationships in my personal life.

Communication and Culture

I live and work in very diverse cultures.  In my job, my colleges are all white, or African American, most are women.  The students are white, African American, Hispanic, Asian, and Russian.   My neighborhood is primarily African American; however the community I live in is much more diverse including large populations of whites, African Americans, Asians, and Bosnians.  My family is all Italian/Caucasian. With the exception of my family, I find that my communication with others varies more based on the location/setting I am in than the different cultural groups.  When I am at work, I am very professional.  I carry myself with confidence in what I am doing.  I am professional and firm, but sensitive and understanding at the same time.  In my neighborhood and community, I remain respectful, but I am much more relaxed and my language may be less proper.  Because of the culture of my family, I may appear to be much less sensitive, respectful, or understanding as I am very aware and comfortable with their boundaries.  I also know that in a family such as mine, one must be loud and direct in order to be heard (hence the Italian heritage).  I find the most important way of communication in all areas of my life is to be aware and sensitive to my surroundings, observing and listening to their communication culture.

Nonverbal communication

For this assignment, I watched a television show with the sound turned off:

T.V. Show:  Whitney

• What do you think the characters’ relationships are based on the ways in which they are communicating?

It was evident that the main characters were a couple based on the fact that the episode began with them in their bed.  However, there was very little physical interaction between them throughout the episode.  They do often exchange flirty looks and smiles.

Another couple was constantly holding hands, getting each other things, and exchanging kisses.

There were two characters, a male and a female, who are not involved romantically with any of the other characters.  The female appeared angry and mopy throughout the episode, while the male up beat and happy.

• What are they feeling and expressing based on the nonverbal behavior you are observing?

The main characters along with the single female appeared irritated with the others often.  This conclusion is based on their nonverbal communication; body language, facial expressions, posture. 

The other couple appears happy and carefree, as does the single male.

Next I watched the same show with the sound turned on:

• What assumptions did you make about the characters and plot based on the ways in which you interpreted the communication you observed?

I assumed that three of the main characters were somewhat crabby, sarcastic, and unhappy.  The other three characters seemed much happier and carefree.  As it turned out, only the single female was actually unhappy, the others just joked sarcastically and teased each other.

• Would your assumptions have been more correct if you had been watching a show you know well?

Knowing the actual characters by watching this show more regularly would have allowed me to understand the dynamics of the characters and their relationships without needing to make assumptions based on body language and facial expressions.

Watching this show made me realize that sarcasm and teasing can be misconstrued by others as unhappiness or just plain rudeness.  As a person who is often very sarcastic, this is important for me to know and realize.  Others do not always see or understand sarcasm in the playful nature that it is intended.

Effective Communication

I am lucky enough to work under a principal who demonstrates wonderful communication skills with teachers, students, other administrators, and families.  She communicates effectively with this very diverse group of people by being respectful but firm.  She always explains her view point, and gives others the opportunity to explain theirs.  Often these other opinions or perspectives are different from her own.  However she is very skilled in coming up with questions for those who she is communicating with.  These questions not only provide her with more information about another’s perspective, but also many times guides others towards the view point that she wants them to take.  I am always observing her communication skills, especially with parents and other family members.  I am slowly attempting to model my own communication with parents after hers.